A guest post by Chris.

I don’t intend to be rude to cold callers but they do have scripts to work to and I disrupt that by giving unexpected answers or questions.

If they claim to be doing a survey, then I might say

“What’s in it for me?”

Probably, they’ll tell me there isn’t anything or the slow witted ones just keep asking questions.

I might say “I cannot believe you are asking for information without giving me anything.”

If they say I am going to be entered into a draw or be given £100 voucher off double glazing for example  then I might say “Send me the cash or draw coupon or whatever first then I’ll answer questions”

A lot of the cold callers are from call centres in India and I have visited India several times so I might ask them whereabouts they are and ask about the weather or is my favourite hotel still there or something similar.

They don’t like talking about these things as it’s not on their script.

Other times, I might try to make the cold caller feel guilty.

I could tell them I have come down from the top of a ladder where I am painting the roof or been dragged in from the garden where I am cutting down trees to answer the phone.

Sometimes that works and other times they just stick to the script.

If they ring at lunchtime I always tell them I am hosting an important lunch party and cannot discuss my power suppliers or whatever it is they want at that time.

Of course that can lead to them suggesting they call again which obviously I don’t want.

If they are calling from England at lunch time then I might say

“Why are you calling at lunch time – are you not allowed lunch? I should have a word with my boss about that”

It can be entertaining dealing with cold callers but can just be an annoyance.

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