Category: Fun

Fun responses or behaviour at the expense of the scammers, spammers or time-wasters

Bob Servant Fights Back Against Scammers

Bob Servant likes dealing with scammers – and playing them at their own game.

The book “Delete This at Your Peril” gives eight of his best dialogues with scammers and they are very funny.

This is the story of Peter’s Pots by Bob Servant.

A typical scam email arrived.

“Dear Beloved,

I have a job offer for you. My name is Peter Anderson and I work with Union Ventures Inc . Ltd. We extract raw materials from Africa for clients in America and Canada.

We are looking for a representative in America to work for us part-time and are willing to pay you 10% for every transaction. These payments would come to you in your name. You cash it, deduct your payment and send the rest to us via Western Union.“

Bob replies: This sounds very interesting indeed. Can you tell me more about the raw materials you trade in as  my friend Frank Theplank is also a trader in raw materials.

Peter:  Union Ventures is number one registered company in West Africa that deals on all kinds of raw materials.

Bob: Frank asked me if you deal in rubber, timber or china pots?

Peter: Yes we deal in rubber, timber and china pots and can do discounts for your friend.

[lots more emails about various products, nights out, freezing weather, favourites foods etc. – all very silly, but the scammer doesn’t seem to notice]

Bob: Frank needs 2,000 pots for the end of the month for a major reworking of Dawson Park. It’s going to be “Frank’s World of Pots”.

Then a long description of Frank’s World of Pots – with lots of very silly features.

Peter agrees to provide the pots quickly and wants a $10,000 deposit.

Bob: The 2,000 pots are to be filled with different things. Some plants but also surprises like chocolate bars, yo-yos, magazines and Chinese food.

Peter: I think what you and Frank are to do will be a great success and I am glad Union Ventures will be part of this. The order will only take us a week and we will have the entire factory working on it. You must pay the $10,000 through Western Union so we can start on the work.

Bob:  Frank just called me from the dog track to say I have to make sure the pots are suitable for people to put their hands in without risking the hand getting stuck. This must include motorbike riders who haven’t taken their gloves off.

Peter keeps insisting on the payment by Western Union and Bob agrees but then invites Peter to come over with the delivery of pots and stay at his house.

This exchange goes on for weeks until eventually Peter makes an ultimatum and the game is over.

Bob’s website is at

Do you have an opinion on this matter? Please comment in the box below.

Wayne and Jill Scambaiting

Every year tens of thousands of people in the UK are conned by online scammers, but it is not only the authorities taking action – “scam baiters” take the fight to the scammers.

Wayne and Jill (not their real names) are scam baiters. Jill explained her approach and some examples on a recent BBC Victoria Derbyshire programme.

“We waste scammers’ time, we waste their resources and we make them believe they are not as good as they think they are,” “Scammers are always going to be there but if we can take them down a peg and take a victim away from them any time we can, then we are doing something good,” says Jill.

The scam baiters often publish online their interactions with the scammers as a way of warning people.

The aim is for these to appear in search engine results, so potential victims will be alerted if they type in the scammer’s name.

The Scam baiters don’t make money from their actions – they do it to stop others being scammed. For Wayne, the motivation is simply the “buzz” he receives from knowing he can help someone.

Wayne’s Set-Up as a Scam Baiter

Wayne’s set-up is rudimentary. He works under various aliases, mostly named after characters from his favourite children’s television shows of his youth.

He often makes himself seem more vulnerable – and potentially gullible – by pretending to have recently broken up from a partner.

Both Wayne and Jill always wait to be approached by scammers, rather than seeking them out. Their names are on a so-called “suckers list” – effectively a database of people thought to be easy to con – which is passed around by scammers online.

The latest to get in touch is a man who emails Jill to say she has won the lottery in Africa. Pretending to be husband and wife, Wayne and Jill make a joint contact back, the aim being to waste the scammer’s time by arguing about which one of them gets the money. Surprisingly, Jill considers her biggest success to be the time she received a death threat from a scammer she had targeted.

“If you get a death threat you know you’ve really wound someone up. I had one scammer driving round Madrid for a day trying to find ‘Lynn’, who had gone to Madrid.

“Of course, I hadn’t gone to Madrid, I was in my front room. Jill tells it as a funny anecdote, but it underlines the seriousness involved.

“I take great care in protecting my online persona,” she says. “I bait with email addresses that aren’t traceable. I don’t use any of my real-life information. All of my characters are based somewhere 100 miles away from where I live.”

Click for an example of Scambaiting.

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How to Play the Telemarketer Game

We all get phone calls from telemarketers and scammers. The idea of the game is to waste as much of their time as possible. The more you waste – the less time they have to scam or waste other people’s time.

They normally start with something to get you answering questions e.g. how are you?

You can just say fine but no reason why you shouldn’t tell them half your life story – every illness you’ve ever had, how bad the NHS is, your local doctor, your kids or parents or friends illnesses, the weather. You get the point – talk about anything.

Then they get onto their script.

Answer some questions and ask more questions when you get the chance.

Your questions can be sensible or whatever comes to mind.

e.g. “My Aunt Milly said I shouldn’t talk to anyone who’s a Libra? Are you a Libra?”

 Awarding Yourself Points

Each minute spent on the phone 10 points
Getting caller to repeat part of the script 5 points
Getting answers to stupid questions 15 points
Changing the subject 50 points
Making the caller angry 100 points
Making the caller hang up 100 points

Have fun.

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Chris Deals With Cold Callers


A guest post by Chris.

I don’t intend to be rude to cold callers but they do have scripts to work to and I disrupt that by giving unexpected answers or questions.

If they claim to be doing a survey, then I might say

“What’s in it for me?”

Probably, they’ll tell me there isn’t anything or the slow witted ones just keep asking questions.

I might say “I cannot believe you are asking for information without giving me anything.”

If they say I am going to be entered into a draw or be given £100 voucher off double glazing for example  then I might say “Send me the cash or draw coupon or whatever first then I’ll answer questions”

A lot of the cold callers are from call centres in India and I have visited India several times so I might ask them whereabouts they are and ask about the weather or is my favourite hotel still there or something similar.

They don’t like talking about these things as it’s not on their script.

Other times, I might try to make the cold caller feel guilty.

I could tell them I have come down from the top of a ladder where I am painting the roof or been dragged in from the garden where I am cutting down trees to answer the phone.

Sometimes that works and other times they just stick to the script.

If they ring at lunchtime I always tell them I am hosting an important lunch party and cannot discuss my power suppliers or whatever it is they want at that time.

Of course that can lead to them suggesting they call again which obviously I don’t want.

If they are calling from England at lunch time then I might say

“Why are you calling at lunch time – are you not allowed lunch? I should have a word with my boss about that”

It can be entertaining dealing with cold callers but can just be an annoyance.

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Bob Servant Says Delete This at Your Peril

bob_servant_bookBob Servant likes dealing with scammers – and playing them at their own game.

The book “Delete This at Your Peril” gives eight of his best dialogues with scammers and they are very funny.

It is described as “One Man’s fearless exchanges with the Internet Scammers”

Bob typically gets the scammers interested  by agreeing to pay them then his ‘demands’ become more and more ridiculous and some of these scammers are so dumb and so desperate they fall for it.  Whether the scammers are offering African millions, Russian Brides or get rich quick scams, Bob can outdo them with his outrageous ideas.

e.g. Scammer  to Bob after a dozen emails.

Bob: What is happening?? I don’t sell animals. I only said I could get some lions to help you.

Then you say you need a leopard and I say OK.

Now you are saying the lion has to talk?

What is this madness?

Send me the £1,700 that we agreed immediately.

Needless to say, Bob never sends any money but he does keep the scammers tied up dealing with his messages and provides a great laugh for us.

Nice one Bob.

The book is available on Amazon and other websites.

Bob’s website is at

Dealing With a BT OpenReach Scammer

openreach_logo“Hello, My name is Katie and I’m calling you from BT OpenReach.”

Then she paused , waiting to see if I said I didn’t have a contract with OpenReach. When I didn’t say that she continued.

“The reason for the call is that we have to suspend your account in the next 48 hours.”

Again the pause to see if I was worried by the statement.

Me: “Right”

“We have to do that because we have received reports of some unauthorised activity at your IP address and because your IP address is active between 2 am and 4 am

So we have to suspend your account.”

Me: “OK”

“To help us fix the problems you need to tell me some information

Sir, are you using the Internet on your computer or mobile phone or other device?”

Me: “Oh I don’t think I can tell you that”

“But Sir you must tell us or we cannot fix the problem and that means the whole network is in danger”

“That’s terrible, but can’t you fix the problem anyway?”

Katie put the phone down.

This is a variant of the Microsoft support call scam where the caller tells you your PC is infected with a virus and they can fix it for a payment.

In this case, I assume she was after basic information  of who I am then she would no doubt need my login and password details etc. And likely would  want to download remote control software to my PC so she could take control of it and find credit card details etc.

Just a pathetic scam.

When you recognise a scam phone call – you can choose to tell them straightaway what you think of them or you can choose to play along and let them talk or even join in and act the part as if you are being conned. At some point they realise you’re not falling for the scam and typically they just put the phone down and move on to their next target. But wasting their time is quite fun.

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Harry Bombards The Cold Caller With Questions

Confused Cold Caller

Harry didn’t like being pestered by cold callers and didn’t like being asked lots of irrelevant questions.

And he figured the cold callers wouldn’t like it either.

So, as soon as they started into their scripted questions, he bombarded them with his own questions.

“Who are you”

“Why are you phoning me?”

“How did you get my phone number?”

“Why are you wasting my time?”

“Who said you could phone me?”

“Why should I answer your questions?”

“Who told you to phone me?”

The cold callers usually recognise they are losing this battle and give up.

Fightback Ninja Tells All To James Pearce

Listen to the Fightback Ninja telling all to James Pearce.

Brooklands Radio were running a 24 hour marathon programme to raise money for Woking and Same Beare Hospice and Fightback Ninja wanted to do his part to help.

Find out about Fightback Ninja’ s childhood and his favourite movies and cartoons.

Pete Deals With Cold Callers

Confused Cold Caller

Guest post by W.

W. says her boss Pete doesn’t take to cold callers wasting his time.

For example:-

A call from someone claiming to be in computer support:  I want to talk with you about your computer.

Pete: No. I don’t want to talk to you about my computer. Goodbye.

A minute later, another caller from the same company: My colleague just phoned to talk with you about your computer

Pete: Your colleague obviously doesn’t understand English –I said NO! What part of NO doesn’t he get? and slammed the phone down.

Pete’s philosophy is don’t waste time on these callers.

Another time he told a caller to stop wasting his time and she told him to be more polite.

Pete said’ Alright I’ll be polite – please bleep off”

Another time, Pete wanted to have more fun and started a sales pitch on selling the caller life insurance. That really confused the caller.

Don’t waste your time on theses callers unless you want to have fun confusing them.