Category: Fun

Fun responses or behaviour at the expense of the scammers, spammers or time-wasters

Chris Deals With Cold Callers

upset-534103_640

A guest post by Chris.

I don’t intend to be rude to cold callers but they do have scripts to work to and I disrupt that by giving unexpected answers or questions.

If they claim to be doing a survey, then I might say

“What’s in it for me?”

Probably, they’ll tell me there isn’t anything or the slow witted ones just keep asking questions.

I might say “I cannot believe you are asking for information without giving me anything.”

If they say I am going to be entered into a draw or be given £100 voucher off double glazing for example  then I might say “Send me the cash or draw coupon or whatever first then I’ll answer questions”

A lot of the cold callers are from call centres in India and I have visited India several times so I might ask them whereabouts they are and ask about the weather or is my favourite hotel still there or something similar.

They don’t like talking about these things as it’s not on their script.

Other times, I might try to make the cold caller feel guilty.

I could tell them I have come down from the top of a ladder where I am painting the roof or been dragged in from the garden where I am cutting down trees to answer the phone.

Sometimes that works and other times they just stick to the script.

If they ring at lunchtime I always tell them I am hosting an important lunch party and cannot discuss my power suppliers or whatever it is they want at that time.

Of course that can lead to them suggesting they call again which obviously I don’t want.

If they are calling from England at lunch time then I might say

“Why are you calling at lunch time – are you not allowed lunch? I should have a word with my boss about that”

It can be entertaining dealing with cold callers but can just be an annoyance.

If you’ve enjoyed this post or found it useful then do share – click on the post title then scroll down to the social media share buttons.

ninja_signature

Bob Servant Says Delete This at Your Peril

bob_servant_bookBob Servant likes dealing with scammers – and playing them at their own game.

The book “Delete This at Your Peril” gives eight of his best dialogues with scammers and they are very funny.

It is described as “One Man’s fearless exchanges with the Internet Scammers”

Bob typically gets the scammers interested  by agreeing to pay them then his ‘demands’ become more and more ridiculous and some of these scammers are so dumb and so desperate they fall for it.  Whether the scammers are offering African millions, Russian Brides or get rich quick scams, Bob can outdo them with his outrageous ideas.

e.g. Scammer  to Bob after a dozen emails.

Bob: What is happening?? I don’t sell animals. I only said I could get some lions to help you.

Then you say you need a leopard and I say OK.

Now you are saying the lion has to talk?

What is this madness?

Send me the £1,700 that we agreed immediately.

Needless to say, Bob never sends any money but he does keep the scammers tied up dealing with his messages and provides a great laugh for us.

Nice one Bob.

The book is available on Amazon and other websites.

Bob’s website is at http://www.bobservant.com/

Dealing With a BT OpenReach Scammer

openreach_logo“Hello, My name is Katie and I’m calling you from BT OpenReach.”

Then she paused , waiting to see if I said I didn’t have a contract with OpenReach. When I didn’t say that she continued.

“The reason for the call is that we have to suspend your account in the next 48 hours.”

Again the pause to see if I was worried by the statement.

Me: “Right”

“We have to do that because we have received reports of some unauthorised activity at your IP address and because your IP address is active between 2 am and 4 am

So we have to suspend your account.”

Me: “OK”

“To help us fix the problems you need to tell me some information

Sir, are you using the Internet on your computer or mobile phone or other device?”

Me: “Oh I don’t think I can tell you that”

“But Sir you must tell us or we cannot fix the problem and that means the whole network is in danger”

“That’s terrible, but can’t you fix the problem anyway?”

Katie put the phone down.

This is a variant of the Microsoft support call scam where the caller tells you your PC is infected with a virus and they can fix it for a payment.

In this case, I assume she was after basic information  of who I am then she would no doubt need my login and password details etc. And likely would  want to download remote control software to my PC so she could take control of it and find credit card details etc.

Just a pathetic scam.

When you recognise a scam phone call – you can choose to tell them straightaway what you think of them or you can choose to play along and let them talk or even join in and act the part as if you are being conned. At some point they realise you’re not falling for the scam and typically they just put the phone down and move on to their next target. But wasting their time is quite fun.

Do enter your email address and click by the subscribe button on top right to keep up to date with new posts.

Harry Bombards The Cold Caller With Questions

Confused Cold Caller

Harry didn’t like being pestered by cold callers and didn’t like being asked lots of irrelevant questions.

And he figured the cold callers wouldn’t like it either.

So, as soon as they started into their scripted questions, he bombarded them with his own questions.

“Who are you”

“Why are you phoning me?”

“How did you get my phone number?”

“Why are you wasting my time?”

“Who said you could phone me?”

“Why should I answer your questions?”

“Who told you to phone me?”

The cold callers usually recognise they are losing this battle and give up.

Fightback Ninja Tells All To James Pearce


Listen to the Fightback Ninja telling all to James Pearce.

Brooklands Radio were running a 24 hour marathon programme to raise money for Woking and Same Beare Hospice and Fightback Ninja wanted to do his part to help.

Find out about Fightback Ninja’ s childhood and his favourite movies and cartoons.