An invoice arrives from Clean Professionals Ltd. We owe £128.43 according to them. Never heard of them and they have never done any work for us therefore it’s a scam. In fact, there is a genuine cleaning company in Kent called Clean Professionals but they didn’t send the scam message. The scammer even includes their phone numbers in the email – but incorrect by one digit in each one. Pathetic.

“Researchers from California have discovered a secret elixir inside General Stonewall Jackson’s War Coffee”. Is the ludicrous opening gambit of a scammer. Supposedly you have a strange organ that can flush out fat when fed with this coffee. This scam is so dumb it sounds like it was constructed by morons trying to think of the dumbest ever scam.  “Drink the coffee and lose 32 lbs in 24 days”. I think this scammer is missing an organ – his brain.

“Strange mixture + H2O = Burn Fat” is the strange email title from a scammer. Supposedly it turns into a gel that fills your stomach and stops you feeling hungry. That is nothing to do with burning fat so the email is just a scam from a moronic scammer. There is actually research in progress on the idea of eating substances that fill up the stomach but contain no nutritional benefit. However such an approach has unpleasant side effects and only works marginally better than doing nothing so it’s not some cure-all. Do not trust unsolicited emails and do not purchase products that have not been proven by science to be safe.

Email subject is “Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Purchase order 4523418091211-901121” from “Christian” and the message claims I have ordered printer ink cartridges from him and should open the attached purchase order. Obviously it makes no sense for him to supply me with my own purchase order and the string of “Re:” in the subject is just to make it look as if I have emailed back and forth with him repeatedly over the order. All just rubbish from a scammer of course. To be ignored.

An email to the radio station, says “Hello Sir/Madam” and says they are very interested in our products and would like an up to date catalogue and for us to confirm delivery dates and payment terms. It’s just an attempt to see if we are a company and are stupid enough to reply to such an obvious scam message. Never reply to such messages as it will just result in an avalanche of further scam messages.

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An email claiming to be from Santander bank tells me they are doing spot security checks and they suspect an unauthorized transaction on my account, so I need to login to check it. An obvious scam message actually from support @emio-inc.com. Also, I don’t have a Santander bank account.

Another typical scam email arrives, offering a magical way to lose weight without changing your diet. This one claims there is a secret mineral that boosts your fat burning by 650%. The email says this is a forgotten mineral but then also says that everyone is talking about it. Seems somewhat contradictory. ‘Nancy lost 82 pounds with just one scoop of this mineral per day’. Pathetic rubbish as always from these criminals.

A message from newsletter @airpay.co.in says there are 3 voice mail messages waiting for me. The scammer doesn’t know who the message is going to so doesn’t even put Dear Sir or Madame or anything similar. The attached file I am supposed to click on is a .html file so it’s a web page. Dumb.

George Bridham’s email claims that a 4,000 year old herb is the most powerful anti-oxidant ever discovered and it can cure cancer and 119 other unnamed diseases. Not sure what a 4000 year old herb is supposed to be as most plants have been around for hundreds of thousands of years if not longer.  A lot of people seem to think that anti-oxidants are somehow magical and do wonderful things to your health, but they are not. Your body produces anti-oxidants and maintains the level in your system. If you eat stuff containing a lot of anti-oxidant then your body simply produces less for a while. This isn’t magic and doesn’t transform health. Just a dumb scammer throwing around buzz words.

Lots of scammers target people needing pain relief and this latest one says “Eating so called superfoods doesn’t work… reducing inflammation doesn’t work…watch this video to see the truth”. Typical scammer lies and a pointless video to watch for which the scammer gets paid and you get nothing – just fake hope.

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“Make any pain go away in 54 seconds”  is a ludicrous but eye catching title for a scammer’s email message. She claims that a horse liniment is the strongest painkiller and has been kept secret from people by the government. It’s also supposed to be safer than normal pain medication and works in 54 seconds. Perhaps some people are so confused they would rather trust a ludicrous story than medical professionals but no-one in their right mind would use a drug that is only approved for horses and not people.

Lots of scammers target brain diseases such as Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Usually, the most obvious giveaway in their emails is that they promise far too much. This latest one claims that scientists have conducted a trial with 7,000 people and cured everyone of Dementia, Alzheimer’s and every other type of brain disease and also recovered their missing memories. Pathetically stupid – obviously there has been no such trial and the supposed proof is a ridiculous video made by an idiot using fake brain scans copied from the Internet.

A strange email started with “I have been listening to your productions and it’s dope. You’ve got the right ideas to dominate your music game”. Obviously the sender has no idea who he’s sending to – the message is generic to attract people for any sort of business connected to music and has probably gone to thousands if not millions of email addresses.  Plus, it’s supposed to be a business offer but is from a Gmail personal address. Pathetic.

A message claiming to be from Wells Fargo bank tells me they have seen suspicious activity on my account and I should download the attached file to see the details. But then I don’t have an account with Wells Fargo so I wont be downloading a file no doubt filled with malware.

Yet another 419 scam arrives by email. This one says it’s from Jean Bosvu – the Procurement Supervisor at some unnamed company in Angola and she has $16.7 million waiting for me to collect it. I am supposed to email her back at a different personal address with my personal details as of course she doesn’t even know my name. Ludicrous.

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