Category: Fun

Fun responses or behaviour at the expense of the scammers, spammers or time-wasters

May 27, 2016

Pete Deals With Cold Callers

Guest post by W.

W. says her boss Pete doesn’t take to cold callers wasting his time.

For example:-

A call from someone claiming to be in computer support: I want to talk with you about your computer.

Pete: No. I don’t want to talk to you about my computer. Goodbye.

A minute later, another caller from the same company: My colleague just phoned to talk with you about your computer

Pete: Your colleague obviously doesn’t understand English –I said NO! What part of NO doesn’t he get? and slammed the phone down.

Pete’s philosophy is don’t waste time on these callers.

Another time he told a caller to stop wasting his time and she told him to be more polite.

Pete said’ Alright I’ll be polite – please bleep off”

Another time, Pete wanted to have more fun and started a sales pitch on selling the caller life insurance. That really confused the caller.

Don’t waste your time on theses callers unless you want to have fun confusing them.

April 15, 2016

Annoy Cold Callers by Being Friendly and Questioning

For example:-

Caller: Hello. Is that Mr. …..

Me: What do you want? (in a bored ‘heard it all before’ tone of voice)

Caller: My name is Natasha and I’m calling from Lifestyle Choices. I would just like you to help me please with answers to a few questions. It will only take 2 minutes.

Me: (now sounding friendly) So, you’re Natasha and you’re from Lifestyle Choices. Do you do a lot of surveys Natasha?

Caller: If you could just answer a few questions Sir.

Me: Natasha, Do you work for Lifestyle Choices or are you just contracted to them?

Caller: I work for Lifestyle Choices. If you could answer a few questions Sir.

Me: So, Lifestyle Choices – what do they do.

Caller: Can you answer some questions please Sir.

Me: Of course, after you answer my questions. Now, where was I. Oh Yes, I remember. You were going to tell me about Lifestyle Choices.

Natasha disconnects.

Good riddance to another cold caller.

March 4, 2016

Graham Annoys a Car Accident Claim Scammer

Graham says:

I had done some shopping and coming back to the car park a women was about to put a note on my car saying she had accidentally scrapped my car when parking next to me. We exchanged details and her insurance company was excellent ringing me the same day, admitting full liability and got my car fixed within a couple of days and loaning me a car. Great I thought.

But then I was plagued by calls from legal firms wanting to claim personal injury for me. They claimed the insurance company had set aside a sum of money for my personal injury. I just kept telling them I wasn’t interested.

Then I decided to waste their time as they were wasting mine.

So, next caller I answered her questions about the accident and waited till she got to the end of the process then said casually

“Does it make any difference whether I was in the car at the time of the accident?”

“You weren’t in the car?”

“NO”

“You’ve just wasted my time on this”

“NO! You phoned me. You wasted My Time!”

That’s good riddance to one annoyed cold caller.

February 19, 2016

Annoy Cold Callers By Making Noise

Some people keep a whistle by your phone so when they get a cold caller –they give them a quick blast.

Some people keep a radio near the phone so they can switch on a noisy station, put the phone by the radio and leave it.

If you can do animal impressions – then why not bark loudly or grunt loudly.

You could record a brass band or some other noisy music and play it when the cold caller phones

You could shout “Sorry . I’m a bit deaf, Can you repeat that”

Alternatively, stand back from the phone and have a good scream – that should send them running and will make you feel better.

February 17, 2016

Annoy Cold Callers By Wasting Their Time

There’s lots of ways you can waste their time

Pretend you can’t hear very well and make them repeat each statement several times
Pretend to be stupid and misunderstand everything they say
Repeat back to them each thing they say
Ask their opinion on any soap opera or reality TV series that you watch then regale them with how wonderful the programme is
Pretend to cry – tell them you’ve broken up with your true love and are heart broken (good for any budding actors) and pour out any anger you’re feeling.
Pretend you know the caller and invent a whole back story for last time you saw them and refuse to accept that they don’t know you

Any of these tricks are likely to have the caller put down the phone but it depends how well you play your part. So enjoy yourself, be creative and waste their time.