Category: Fun
Fun responses or behaviour at the expense of the scammers, spammers or time-wasters
How to Answer the Cold Callers
These suggestions are from users of the Slummy Single Mummy website at https://slummysinglemummy.com/ and are in response to a cold caller telling you that you have been involved in a car accident, but the responses can be applied to most cold callers.
- ‘Oh my goodness! I thought I was feeling a bit funny today. Am I seriously hurt?’
- ‘Could you call me back in about ten minutes?’ (grunting) ‘I’m just having a poo and it’s proving stubborn.’
- ‘Noooo!’ (breaking down in tears), ‘I knew this would catch up with me! I told Frank we shouldn’t have pushed the other car off that bridge, that we should have just owned up and told everyone it was an accident, and NOW SEE WHAT’S HAPPENED??’
- ‘Well, that’s a funny coincidence as I have just been informed that you have been in an accident? Are you okay?’
- ‘Well I have been in an accident but it WAS my fault. She had it coming.’
- ‘Yes I have – it happened just then when I answered the phone to you, so I guess that makes it your fault? Could you give me your insurance details please?’
- ‘Thanks for calling. I do need to make you aware that this call will be recording for training purposes.’
- ‘Damn it,’ (in desperate voice), ‘I thought I’d managed to get all the witnesses. Who told you? Was it that snitch Tommo?’
- ‘I’m so glad you called,’ (whispering), ‘I’ve been trying to tell everyone this for MONTHS but they keep telling me I imagined it. I’ve been in this strange hospital for six weeks now. Can I give you the name of my doctor and then you can call and explain to her that it IS true – you have been informed of it?’
Have fun with cold callers – they called to waste your time, so waste theirs instead.
If you have any better suggestions or answers you have tried, do let me know, by email.
James Veitch The Scammer Teaser
James Veitch is a comedian who has a lucrative side-line in making videos of himself responding to scam messages.
He plays along with the scam and engages in ridiculous conversations until they eventually give up but that can take a while as these criminals are determined to part you from your money.
The videos are funny and have crazy graphics to keep you engaged and they work – millions of people watch them.
For example, James receives the message:-
“Hi Phil, my name is Andrew. I’m one of the tenants at 11 Dover Place. I’ve been told you the person to contact regarding upkeep, maintenance etc.”
James does reply and tell him he’s not the person but he refuses to accept that so James then strings him along.
The guy is complaining about the apartment being too hot and wants a thermostatic valve fitted.
James then replies that he cannot do that but he’s having his builder visit on Wednesday to remove one of the windows thereby solving the heating problem and the conversation continues with the guy increasingly worried that a window is to be removed.
It’s handy being a comedian and James has a lot of fun with this and the scammers who contact him but anyone can try this and enjoy wasting the scammer’s time.
James has a series of these videos called the scamalot series at the mashable website www.mashable.com and those plus more on YouTube. www.youtube.com.
Have fun watching and you will learn about scammer tactics and how to have fun baiting the scammers.
Have you tried teasing, provoking, annoying or otherwise wasting the time of these stupid scammers? If so, do let me know, by email.
Bob Servant Fights Back Against Scammers
Bob Servant likes dealing with scammers – and playing them at their own game.
The book “Delete This at Your Peril” gives eight of his best dialogues with scammers and they are very funny.
This is the story of Peter’s Pots by Bob Servant.
A typical scam email arrived.
“Dear Beloved,
I have a job offer for you. My name is Peter Anderson and I work with Union Ventures Inc . Ltd. We extract raw materials from Africa for clients in America and Canada.
We are looking for a representative in America to work for us part-time and are willing to pay you 10% for every transaction. These payments would come to you in your name. You cash it, deduct your payment and send the rest to us via Western Union.“
Bob replies: This sounds very interesting indeed. Can you tell me more about the raw materials you trade in as my friend Frank Theplank is also a trader in raw materials.
Peter: Union Ventures is number one registered company in West Africa that deals on all kinds of raw materials.
Bob: Frank asked me if you deal in rubber, timber or china pots?
Peter: Yes we deal in rubber, timber and china pots and can do discounts for your friend.
[lots more emails about various products, nights out, freezing weather, favourites foods etc. – all very silly, but the scammer doesn’t seem to notice]
Bob: Frank needs 2,000 pots for the end of the month for a major reworking of Dawson Park. It’s going to be “Frank’s World of Pots”.
Then a long description of Frank’s World of Pots – with lots of very silly features.
Peter agrees to provide the pots quickly and wants a $10,000 deposit.
Bob: The 2,000 pots are to be filled with different things. Some plants but also surprises like chocolate bars, yo-yos, magazines and Chinese food.
Peter: I think what you and Frank are to do will be a great success and I am glad Union Ventures will be part of this. The order will only take us a week and we will have the entire factory working on it. You must pay the $10,000 through Western Union so we can start on the work.
Bob: Frank just called me from the dog track to say I have to make sure the pots are suitable for people to put their hands in without risking the hand getting stuck. This must include motorbike riders who haven’t taken their gloves off.
Peter keeps insisting on the payment by Western Union and Bob agrees but then invites Peter to come over with the delivery of pots and stay at his house.
This exchange goes on for weeks until eventually Peter makes an ultimatum and the game is over.
Bob’s website is at http://www.bobservant.com/
Do you have an opinion on this matter? Please comment in the box below.
Wayne and Jill Scambaiting
Every year tens of thousands of people in the UK are conned by online scammers, but it is not only the authorities taking action – “scam baiters” take the fight to the scammers.
Wayne and Jill (not their real names) are scam baiters. Jill explained her approach and some examples on a recent BBC Victoria Derbyshire programme.
“We waste scammers’ time, we waste their resources and we make them believe they are not as good as they think they are,” “Scammers are always going to be there but if we can take them down a peg and take a victim away from them any time we can, then we are doing something good,” says Jill.
The scam baiters often publish online their interactions with the scammers as a way of warning people.
The aim is for these to appear in search engine results, so potential victims will be alerted if they type in the scammer’s name.
The Scam baiters don’t make money from their actions – they do it to stop others being scammed. For Wayne, the motivation is simply the “buzz” he receives from knowing he can help someone.
Wayne’s Set-Up as a Scam Baiter
Wayne’s set-up is rudimentary. He works under various aliases, mostly named after characters from his favourite children’s television shows of his youth.
He often makes himself seem more vulnerable – and potentially gullible – by pretending to have recently broken up from a partner.
Both Wayne and Jill always wait to be approached by scammers, rather than seeking them out. Their names are on a so-called “suckers list” – effectively a database of people thought to be easy to con – which is passed around by scammers online.
The latest to get in touch is a man who emails Jill to say she has won the lottery in Africa. Pretending to be husband and wife, Wayne and Jill make a joint contact back, the aim being to waste the scammer’s time by arguing about which one of them gets the money. Surprisingly, Jill considers her biggest success to be the time she received a death threat from a scammer she had targeted.
“If you get a death threat you know you’ve really wound someone up. I had one scammer driving round Madrid for a day trying to find ‘Lynn’, who had gone to Madrid.
“Of course, I hadn’t gone to Madrid, I was in my front room. Jill tells it as a funny anecdote, but it underlines the seriousness involved.
“I take great care in protecting my online persona,” she says. “I bait with email addresses that aren’t traceable. I don’t use any of my real-life information. All of my characters are based somewhere 100 miles away from where I live.”
Click https://fightback.ninja/test/scambaiting-with-the-crown-prince/ for an example of Scambaiting.
If you’ve enjoyed this post or found it useful then do share – click on the post title then scroll down to the social media share buttons.
How to Play the Telemarketer Game
We all get phone calls from telemarketers and scammers. The idea of the game is to waste as much of their time as possible. The more you waste – the less time they have to scam or waste other people’s time.
They normally start with something to get you answering questions e.g. how are you?
You can just say fine but no reason why you shouldn’t tell them half your life story – every illness you’ve ever had, how bad the NHS is, your local doctor, your kids or parents or friends illnesses, the weather. You get the point – talk about anything.
Then they get onto their script.
Answer some questions and ask more questions when you get the chance.
Your questions can be sensible or whatever comes to mind.
e.g. “My Aunt Milly said I shouldn’t talk to anyone who’s a Libra? Are you a Libra?”
Awarding Yourself Points
| Each minute spent on the phone | 10 points |
| Getting caller to repeat part of the script | 5 points |
| Getting answers to stupid questions | 15 points |
| Changing the subject | 50 points |
| Making the caller angry | 100 points |
| Making the caller hang up | 100 points |
Have fun.
If you’ve enjoyed this post or found it useful then do share – click on the post title then scroll down to the social media share buttons.
