Category: Cold Calls

Dealing with telephone cold callers

Confuse the Cold Caller

Confused Cold Caller

Cold callers have a script to follow – a set of questions and expected answers.

If you behave unexpectedly – they don’t know what to do and will often give up i.e. put the phone down.

There are endless things you can do to confuse them, such as

  1. Keep a take-away menu by the phone and start reading it out – place an order and ignore anything they say – just keep reading it out. E.g. I’d like to order 3 spring rolls followed by the Peking Duck with egg fried rice and 2 portions of crispy noodles and some of that seaweed stuff, plus … and so on.
  2. Say ‘I don’t speak English’ to whatever they ask until they put the phone down.
  3. Invent your own religion and try hard to convert them. I’m glad you called today as I have the good news of the 3rd coming of Quixacoatl to tell you about. Now, Quixacoatl created the earth in 5 minutes and he’s due back tomorrow to collect all of the believers. And so on.
  4. Say Thank you for calling the PPI hotline – we can get your thousands of pounds back. I just need you name, address and bank details first. You’ll hear the phone slam down

Any unexpected behaviour will do the trick – so confuse them.

The Telephone Preference Service

TPS Logo
The Telephone Preference Service is provided by the government and lets you register your phone number. Once registered it is illegal for cold callers to call your number (legally, telemarketers must not to call a TPS subscribed number after 28 days, but you should start noticing a gradual decline from registration).

Registration is free and only takes 2 minutes.  The service was setup because there so many cold callers from companies about PPI, Accident Claims, Overseas Scams, Spam SMS and Other Nuisance Calls.

The original legislation was introduced in May 1999. It has subsequently been updated and now the relevant legislation is the Privacy and Electronic (EC Directive) Regulations 2003.

Q. Who can register?

TPS is for consumers at their residential address, sole traders and, except in Scotland, partnerships, but not businesses.  There is also a separate corporate telephone preference service for companies to register their phone numbers to prevent cold callers.

Q. Who pays for TPS?

No money is received from the Government to run the Service, the direct marketing industry pays for it. They will also take complaints against cold calling companies but they don’t do enforcement – that’s down to the Information Commissioners Office.

If you are plagued by cold callers – then register with TPS online, but beware of callers pretending to offer this service – they are usually scammers.

How To Stop Cold Callers by Threatening Legal Action

Remember, they called you uninvited – there is no need to be polite. These people can be the bane of your life with repeated calls.

Refer them to non-existent legislation that they may be breaking. Anything that doesn’t follow their script is disconcerting to a cold caller and an authoritative voice warning them of law breaking should stop them immediately.

For example,

My number is registered with the telephone preference service. By calling me you are breaking section 117 of the Telecommunications Act 2012. You are personally liable to a fine of up to £5,000 for a first offence or imprisonment for further offences.

I suggest you get your bags packed.

Goodbye.

This is not true of course – it is just intended to stop the cold caller from pestering you.

Graham Annoys a Car Accident Claim Scammer

Phone Caller

Graham says:

I had done some shopping and coming back to the car park a women was about to put a note on my car saying she had accidentally scrapped my car when parking next to me. We exchanged details and her insurance company was excellent ringing me the same day, admitting full liability and got my car fixed within a couple of days and loaning me a car. Great I thought.

But then I was plagued by calls from legal firms wanting to claim personal injury for me. They claimed the insurance company had set aside a sum of money for my personal injury. I just kept telling them I wasn’t interested.

Then I decided to waste their time as they were wasting mine.

So, next caller I answered her questions about the accident  and waited till she got to the end of the process then said casually

“Does it make any difference whether I was in the car at the time of the accident?”

“You weren’t in the car?”

“NO”

“You’ve just wasted my time on this”

“NO! You phoned me. You wasted My Time!”

That’s good riddance to one annoyed cold caller.

Annoy Cold Callers By Making Noise

Fightback NinjaSome people keep a whistle by your phone so when they get a cold caller –they give them a quick blast.

Some people keep a radio near the phone so they can switch on a noisy station, put the phone by the radio and leave it.

If you can do animal impressions – then why not bark loudly or grunt loudly.

You could record a brass band or some other noisy music and play it when the cold caller phones

You could shout “Sorry . I’m a bit deaf, Can you repeat that”

Alternatively, stand back from the phone and have a good scream – that should send them running and will make you feel better.

Annoy Cold Callers By Wasting Their Time

There’s lots of ways you can waste their time

  • Pretend you can’t hear very well and make them repeat each statement several times
  • Pretend to be stupid and misunderstand everything they say
  • Repeat back to them each thing they say
  • Ask their opinion on any soap opera or reality TV series that you watch then regale them with how wonderful the programme is
  • Pretend to cry – tell them you’ve broken up with your true love and are heart broken (good for any budding actors) and pour out any anger you’re feeling.
  • Pretend you know the caller and invent a whole back story for last time you saw them and refuse to accept that they don’t know you

Any of these tricks are likely to have the caller put down the phone but it depends how well you play your part. So enjoy yourself, be creative and waste their time.