This is funny story of how a very stupid scammer using the name Joseph Mokoena (JM) tried to scam HRH Princess Margaret and failed. It is a set-up as Joseph Mokoena was led to contact Princess Margaret and there is a team of anti-scammers sending the replies to JM.

Email from JM: Subject: PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP.

This is a long email whereby JM claims to be a government under-secretary in Addis Ababa with $235 million that he needs to ship out of the country and it is currently hidden in four metal trunk boxes at a security company.  He offers 40% of the value on return for shipping the items.

Reply from Princess Margaret:  My Dear Mokeona

The reply goes on about how much the money will be useful at the Palace in rebuilding Tode Hall and that she will involve her equerry, Sir Marmite Luny-Binns from now on.

JM: After a series of emails, he tells her that she will need a Certificate of Deposit and he can acquire that for her at a nominal fee. He then tells her that all contacts should be with a Mohammed Musa who is in charge of the security company.

The anti-scammers now introduce another character: Home Secretary Graham Norton into the emails and that Princess Margaret will be travelling to Africa under the pseudonym Edna Everidge.

Lots of backward and forward emails about trivial points and names.

JM starts to get frustrated that the process is taking so long with interminable emails from assorted people to deal with and endless questions.

The anti-scammers demand that Chancey Davies (another character introduced by JM as working at the security company) make a pledge of allegiance to princess Margaret before they can do business together.

“I Chancey Davies, being of sound mind and body, do swear humble merkin and fey feasiance to the service of Her Gracious Majesty Princess Margaret, to the test in all Her issue and dominion, pursuaint in this moment of our business.” This to be recorded and witnessed.

It all gets very silly. Lots of mistakes in the travel arrangement to Africa, secrecy requirements and more characters appearing over the weeks of the emails. JM is increasingly angry at the lack of progress.

The anti-scammers then claim that one of their characters has died and they are arranging the funeral service at Westminster Abbey and invite JM to attend as a privileged guest.

At this point the scammer JM finally realises he’s been had and sends an angry email.

But the anti-scammers have a copy of his passport and that goes to the Police.

Let’s hope they got him.

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