Cold callers have a script to follow – a set of questions and expected answers.

If you behave unexpectedly – they don’t know what to do and will often give up i.e. put the phone down.

There are endless things you can do to confuse them, such as

1. Keep a take-away menu by the phone and start reading it out – place an order and ignore anything they say – just keep reading it out. E.g. I’d like to order 3 spring rolls followed by the Peking Duck with egg fried rice and 2 portions of crispy noodles and some of that seaweed stuff, plus … and so on.
2. Say ‘I don’t speak English’ to whatever they ask until they put the phone down.
3. Invent your own religion and try hard to convert them. I’m glad you called today as I have the good news of the 3^rd coming of Quixacoatl to tell you about. Now, Quixacoatl created the earth in 5 minutes and he’s due back tomorrow to collect all of the believers. And so on.
4. Say Thank you for calling the PPI hotline – we can get your thousands of pounds back. I just need you name, address and bank details first. You’ll hear the phone slam down

Any unexpected behaviour will do the trick – so confuse them.